New love can be thrilling - a dizzying sensation that leaves you floating, tingling, awake all hours of the night. But while we often view butterflies as a sign of deep adoration for someone special, this feeling could also signify unease or potential danger.
So why does our body respond in such peculiar ways when encountering new romance? Behind every crush and courtship lies science; hormones drive these intense emotions that all too often define relationships both romantic and platonic alike, meaning it's not simply hearts that fall but also brains!
According to Today.com, we can become “hopped up on these feel-good hormones, making you less objective and more likely to ignore the red flags." Keep reading to learn more about the four main hormones involved in cultivating those lovey-dovey feelings.
Oxytocin
Oxytocin is the hormone responsible for creating strong emotional bonds, improving trust and fostering attachment. Often referred to as a “love” or “cuddle”hormone it has been associated with special relationships between mothers and their young children - promoting warm feelings of closeness and connection in these important bonding moments.
Dopamine
Our ability to experience and recognize the emotion of love is driven by dopamine, a hormone that sparks feelings of happiness, satisfaction, pleasure ,and motivation. When we interact with our love interest in any way—from merely seeing them or thinking about them to touching and conversing--the levels of dopamine released increase significantly . This triggers other hormones associated with good feeling as well and can even cause us to become addicted to the sensation brought on from being head-over-heels for someone special.
Serotonin
Love can be a fascinating mix of emotions, and serotonin's role in that is no exception. Scientists have discovered that when we fall for someone, our levels of this important neurotransmitter actually decrease – possibly explaining why many become fixated on their crushes. Low serotonin has also been linked to obsessive-compulsive disorder, indicating its importance in understanding our obsessive behavior in new relationships.
Norepinephrine
Norepinephrine can cause a ripple of emotions to surface during the early stages of any new relationship. It triggers feelings like uneasiness, tension and fear that may be warning us off potential danger or reminding us to reflect on our unresolved issues from past connections. An increase in norepinephrine is an important reminder for self-reflection so we don't make wrong decisions based entirely on chemistry alone!
Butterflies or the Fight or Flight Response?
The sensation of butterflies in your stomach is actually hyperarousal. Hyperarousal occurs when the brain wants us to pay attention to something and creates physical responses such as elevated heart rate and sweating to alert the body for potential danger-even if it's just coming from someone we're familiar with.
Does the presence of butterflies mean your current partner is a threat? Not necessarily. Your anxiety can often make you perceive danger where there isn't any - this could be due to unhealed scars from prior trauma, or wounds caused by abandonment, cheating or abuse. It's possible that lingering fears are causing these warning signals in order to protect yourself against future pain and heartbreak.
Our brain takes into account past experiences when forming new relationships, which can be daunting for those who have been through a difficult breakup. However, if you feel that your current relationship may be different from before – stable and loyal - there is yet hope!
As we know, prior negative experiences can cause an ongoing sense of insecurity, leading to a hypersensitive state that serves as protection. But if instead we turn our attention toward learning effective coping strategies and building trust in ourselves and others – truly taking steps towards creating stability -- the road ahead could be much brighter! Here are some steps to consider:
Trust Your Gut
No matter how exciting dating can be, navigating the waters of hyperarousal can often be difficult. It’s important to keep in mind your goals going into each potential relationship and pay close attention to the responses of your partner.
Setting goals ahead of time will help you stay focused on what’s important, while also allowing you to take note of any red flags that may arise as you get to know one another better. Trust your gut; if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. With enough effort and attentiveness, chances are good that you will eventually find a positive end result that meets all your needs for a meaningful connection.
Learn to Recognize Repeat Patterns
Have you noticed that you tend to fall for the same type of person? Have you found that your relationships have all ended in a similar way? It might be worth considering what patterns are leading you down the same road. It may be hard to admit, but we often fall back into our old habits, even if they don’t lead us to a positive end result.
Recognizing these bad habits and developing healthier ones is a crucial step towards creating genuine relationships. Take the time to reflect on your current goals or relationships, assess why they have failed in the past, and develop an action plan that will help you break out of these patterns and create healthy ones instead. You deserve a chance to reach goals and build relationships with healthy patterns that will lead you to achieve a positive end result.
Address Old Trauma Wounds
If you've been through tough situations in the past, it is completely understandable that these traumas might leave a lasting imprint on how you approach relationships. However, there is still hope to accomplish a positive end result! Working with a therapist can help identify these unhealthy patterns that might be hindering your entrance into new relationships. With their guidance, you will be able to get insight into your feelings and ultimately move forward with an open heart and mind ready to start anew.
Final Thoughts
While new romance can be thrilling, it's important to stay mindful of the reasons you're feeling all those bodily sensations. While the fluttering of butterflies is normal and natural for most people when diving into a relationship, pay attention to potential red flags and use this time as an opportunity to evaluate what parts of your own experience with relationships needs to be healed and shed.
Also think about how you can use this newfound momentum as an opportunity to get help from a therapist, who can help you move past any negative experiences with relationships prior. You deserve love and happiness – so unapologetically pursue it and find that special someone so you can both bring out the best in each other.