Are you feeling lonely? Paradoxically, you’re not alone in how you feel. Research shows that 36% of Americans, including 61% of young adults, cite struggling with severe loneliness. That is a lot of people who feel very much like you do. This feeling is so common today that loneliness has been coined the Silent Epidemic.

The effects of real or perceived social isolation can be dramatic. Feeling disconnected from others may exacerbate both mental and physical ailments. Loneliness and social isolation are linked to an increase in heart disease and stroke, according to a review of studies by the journal Heart. It's no surprise then that loneliness is correlated with premature death.

Despite us being digitally more connected than ever before, this loneliness epidemic is very real. Here’s why it’s happening and what you can do. 

What’s Contributing to This Loneliness Epidemic?

Loneliness isn’t objective reality. It’s a subjective way of feeling, and social psychologists often define it as the gap between the social connections you want and those you experience. 

Therefore, you can be disconnected from others and feel lonely. But, you can also have a busy lifestyle, family, friends, or coworkers- and also feel lonely. Here are factors that may be shaping your emotions.

Social Media

Although social media is seemingly meant to foster relationships, these platforms often have the opposite effect. Research shows that the more time you spend on social media, the more depressed and anxious you might feel. 

Social media undoubtedly drives the FOMO effect. For example, you might look at other people’s pixelated lives and feel inferior in comparison. Or, after scrolling through all those curated experiences, you may simply assume that other people are happier, prettier, or better adjusted than you are. This compounded effect can trigger (and exacerbate) loneliness.

Social media may also make you feel that while you may be "friends" with a lot of people, the interactions are often shallow and unfulfilling which can further trigger feelings of disconnectedness and isolation. Further, social media can bring people together with mutual interests but it can also amplify disagreements and push people into divisive echo chambers.

Trauma

Trauma often makes people feel disconnected- both from themselves and others. It has a terrible way of distorting reality and triggering immense guilt and shame. Unlike loneliness brought on by social isolation, trauma-induced loneliness can stem from the feeling that no one understands your pain. Survivors may also be hesitant to speak about the loss because they don’t want to burden others.

These experiences can make you feel like nobody quite understands you. If you don’t feel like you can trust people, you may subconsciously guard yourself and avoid emotional intimacy. That reality, of course, can make you feel isolated from others. 

Physical Isolation

Today, many people live on their own, work remotely, and don’t reside near their families. While nothing is inherently wrong with those choices (and sometimes they are incredibly beneficial), physically being alone can take its toll. Certainly, during the early years of the pandemic we were explicitly told to isolate ourselves. While this was a good way to stay healthy and avoid COVID-19, it also amplified feelings of being emotionally detached from others.

We all need some social interaction to feel connected and secure. How much interaction varies based on person to person, but if you aren’t talking to people on a regular basis, it may have an adverse effect. 

What Should You Do If You Feel Lonely? 

There isn’t an instant cure for loneliness. After all, most people feel lonely from time to time. However, it’s important to remember that you can take proactive steps if you’re struggling. 

Honor Your Experience

Don’t dismiss your feelings. They are real, and they can provide significant clues about your well-being.

Regardless of your circumstances, loneliness is a legitimate emotion. Validating how you feel is an important part of self-compassion. In addition, denying, suppressing, or otherwise trying to rationalize feelings may prevent you from actually doing something about them. 

Identify Your Triggers

Do you feel lonelier in some settings than in others? Do you notice a specific trend where you feel more disconnected from loved ones?

Identifying your triggers can help you become more aware of the role that loneliness plays in your life. If you aren’t sure, consider tracking how you feel with a mood journal. Doing so can help you recognize certain patterns. 

Commit to a Social Risk 

Whether it’s agreeing to go to dinner with coworkers or signing up for a weekend volunteer opportunity, breaking through loneliness often entails breaking through your comfort zone. Likewise, the more you practice exposing yourself to social situations, the easier they tend to feel. 

Of course, one event won’t just change the course of your loneliness. But committing to becoming more social- and regularly putting yourself out there- can help you feel better connected to your community.

Deepen Your Current Relationships

How satisfied do you feel with the people in your life right now? Do you feel like you can truly be yourself and enjoy your time with your friends and family?

Although it’s often unintentional, it’s easy to take our loved ones for granted. Life gets busy, and instead of nurturing the ones you love, you might be running on auto-pilot.

However, intentionally trying to cultivate your existing relationships can make a significant difference in how you feel. You can strive for more meaningful interactions by focusing on active listening, carving out specific times for social commitments, and expressing gratitude to loved ones. 

Seek Professional Support

The loneliness epidemic is real, but feeling disconnected is also a common, underlying symptom in numerous mental health conditions. Likewise, certain mental health conditions may aggravate feelings of loneliness.

Even if you do everything “right,” it’s still possible to feel lonely. As a result, you may benefit from additional exploration and coping skills. 

Therapy can help provide guidance, encouragement, and solutions during this vulnerable time. You don’t have to suffer alone with your loneliness. Contact us today to connect with one of our therapists for your free consultation. Elevate Counseling is located in Hinsdale, Illinois.