We hear a lot from our clients. After all, therapy is YOUR time and YOUR space to explore the issues that matter most to YOU. But we also realize you may at times be curious about us, or wonder what therapy looks like from the other side of the couch.
In this series, we’ll be hearing from the therapists on staff here at Elevate Counseling + Wellness about what therapy means to them. Today, we hear from Emily Gibson, a Licensed Professional Counselor with a gift for helping clients improve relationships and a passion for supporting the LGBTQ+ community. Read on to learn how she discovered the strength of sensitivity, why she wishes more couples would seek out counseling early, and what she believes Harry Potter can teach us about fighting our demons.
Tell us a little about your background and why you became a therapist.
I have always been a helper at heart, but it took me a long time to find my true calling. I am notoriously known as the “sensitive” one in my family and struggled with low self-esteem, social anxiety, and sexual orientation throughout most of my life. Little did I know it would be these precise characteristics that would ultimately guide me to becoming the therapist I am today.
It was during my undergraduate studies that I fell in love with the field of psychology and began my journey of personal growth and healing. With the help of several amazing mentors and a great deal of self-reflection, I came to the profound realization that my “sensitivity” is in fact my greatest strength. It is my gift. A gift that affords me the ability to be truly present and empathic with others – qualities that, as I came to understand, happen to be the core characteristics necessary to be a great therapist. So, with my new self-awareness and appreciation in tow, I made the life-altering decision to continue my education, make my way through graduate school, and pursue a career as a licensed counselor.
As far as my struggles go, let’s just say the path to healing and growth is not a stroll through a park with a definitive destination. It’s more like a climb through a mountainous terrain with endless endeavors – there will always be challenges, but if you’re willing to make the effort, you get to take in some pretty incredible views. I have come to embrace and plan on a lifelong journey of exploration.
Do you specialize in a particular area or niche? Tell us about that niche and how you help clients experiencing those concerns.
My primary niche is relationships. Even in individual therapy, I tend to focus on how my clients are functioning in their relationships and impacted by those around them. I often say, “We don’t live in a bubble.” Our family, peers, society, and culture all play an integral role in our development, beliefs, and behaviors. I absolutely love helping my clients explore how these factors affect them, gain fresh perspective, and learn new ways to cope and navigate through their challenges.
My secondary niche is working with the LGBTQ+ community. Not only have I struggled with my own sexual orientation and identity, but I have also focused much of my educational career studying the disproportionate mental health distress experienced by sexual minorities. My number one goal is to provide a safe and affirming environment for my LGBTQ+ clients where they can feel free to be their authentic selves without fear of judgment or discrimination.
As a therapist, my first step in helping clients make space for discomfort is to form a strong therapeutic alliance where rapport, trust and safety are established. When that rapport is established, it allows the client to step outside of their comfort zone and share their stories with me. Then we can do the important work of processing their experiences and collaborating on solutions to difficulties. It is a beautiful and rewarding experience!
What do you see as the biggest misconception about therapy?
I think the biggest misconception about therapy is that you have to be at the end of your rope before reaching out. This is especially true for couples. According to Dr. John Gottman, a well renowned relationship and marriage researcher, couples remain in distress for an average of six years before seeking therapy. What an unfortunate statistic! I truly believe that a great deal of hardship and suffering can be prevented by engaging in couple’s therapy early on. By learning new communication skills, rebuilding emotional connection, and increasing intimacy, couples can improve their relationship tremendously.
How do you know when a client is ready to stop therapy and how do you help them terminate?
In a nutshell, I believe clients are ready to terminate therapy when they feel confident in doing so. Afterall, I am not the “expert” of my clients’ lives – they are. It is merely my job to provide a safe space for my clients, assist them in identifying their goals, and help them implement new skills and strategies to improve mental health and wellbeing. That said, I regularly check in with my clients on how they feel about their progress and frequency of therapy.
Termination is typically a mutually agreed upon process where therapy slowly comes to an end. When this occurs, I like to incorporate a termination plan for my clients to establish clear determinants for when they would benefit from resuming services.
If you had a magic wand as a therapist, how would you use it?
As a major Harry Potter fan, the first thing that comes to mind is “Expecto Patronum!” For those (muggles) who are unfamiliar, “Expecto Patronum” refers to the most powerful protection spell in the wizarding world. When cast, the spell evokes a positive energy force called the “Patronus,” which wards off malicious creatures. It is portrayed as the impenetrable light that defeats the wretched darkness. What an amazing ability that would be as a therapist!
Although I believe it is often our darkest moments that bring profound growth and change (often referred to as post-traumatic growth), it would be wonderful to give the gift of light to my clients – to help rid them of the stubborn monsters that hide in the shadows and sneak up on them in pernicious ways. Now that would be something to swish a wand for!