Do you feel extremely nervous or self-conscious in social settings? Do you avoid crowded parties or gatherings? After a social engagement, do you spend a lot of time analyzing how well you interacted with others? 

You’re in good company. Social anxiety affects about 12% of adults, but the experience often feels frustrating and isolating. In severe cases, it can be downright debilitating. 

Fortunately, you can take proactive steps to improve your symptoms. Here are some creative and non-cliched tips for tackling social anxiety. 

Identify Your ‘Why’

Why is tackling social anxiety important to you? At first, this question may seem strange (or even insulting), but spend some time really thinking about your answer. For example, maybe you want to feel more comfortable dating. Perhaps you want to advance in your career. Or maybe you just want to feel better about your current relationships.

Regardless of your specific motives, identifying them is essential. Ideally, you should consider writing them down and keeping that list in a visible place. This visual reminder can keep you disciplined even when your motivation wanes. 

Assume People Will Like You

This suggestion may seem odd, particularly if you are used to worrying about what others think. But if you approach social situations from a relaxed mindset, you may feel more confident and brave. 

Most people want to connect with others. They value good conversation and friendship, and they embrace creating ties with someone else. Likewise, most people also tend to feel a bit insecure themselves! They want to be liked- just as much as you probably want to be liked. 

Try to hold onto that mindset when you go out and meet people. If you move through life believing you’re an interesting and lovable person, others will likely think the same way!

Take a Public Speaking Class

Yes, it will terrify you, but continuous exposure is one of the best ways to tackle social anxiety. Like with so many skills, the more you practice public speaking, the easier it becomes.

If you can’t find a class, commit to pushing yourself out of your comfort zone by speaking up at meetings, raising your hand in class, or taking the lead in a group project. It isn’t about handling these intense situations perfectly- it’s about learning and making progress as you go.

Cultivate Your Passions

Sometimes social anxiety stems from low self-esteem. Other times, it derives from a lack of clarity about your needs and values.

Although it may seem paradoxical, feeling braver in social situations might require you to become braver with yourself. This means identifying and embracing the passions and interests that make you uniquely you.

If your life feels boring and stale, your interactions and relationships might also seem that way. But the opposite is true. The more interesting you are- and the more interesting your daily life is- the more people may gravitate towards getting to know you. 

Turn The Spotlight Around

When in a social situation, it might feel like everyone's eyes are on you. The fear of negative judgement is intense. You feel as if any little mistake in conversation, or even the way your walk, will be seen by everyone around you.

Instead, turn the "spotlight" around so it isn't on you. Visualize a stage spotlight is turned on the person you are talking to (or want to talk to!). Get curious about them - how are they feeling? Do they seem shy, confident, uneasy? When your focus is on others it takes the the pressure off of you.

Acknowledge Every Small Step 

Many people only measure progress when they achieve extraordinary milestones. And while such profound growth certainly deserves a celebration, you shouldn’t neglect all the steps you must take to get there.

Did you engage in small talk with the local barista? Remind your neighbor that it’s trash day? Ask a coworker if she could keep her voice down while you worked? 

Working through triggers and tackling anxiety is a moment-by-moment process. So don’t underestimate any slight changes in the right direction. The more you can stack those changes together, the more confident you will feel. 

Embrace Your Introversion (If Applicable)

We live in a society that covets extraversion, and many people feel they must put themselves out there in order to belong. Instead of social anxiety, you may have unrealistic expectations for socialization and friendship. 

Social anxiety and introversion can certainly overlap, but introversion is a fixed personality trait where you generate energy from within. You desire alone time and tend to prefer smaller, intimate interactions over large social scenes. If this applies to you, it’s important that you honor that part of yourself. You deserve to recharge your emotional batteries.

Of course, it’s possible to mistake anxiety for introversion. So, for example, if you prefer to be alone because you fear social situations or worry about how others might perceive you, that could be a sign of social anxiety. 

Tackling Social Anxiety With Therapy 

Self-help tips may help relieve some of your symptoms, but tackling social anxiety may require professional support. This is especially true if you’ve already tried these strategies and have found limited success.

While there isn’t a single cure for social anxiety, it is treatable. Therapy can help you cultivate more insight into your triggers. It can also provide a safe environment for learning and practicing new coping skills. Contact us today to get started!